"Welcome to my turf, Larkin. You're not on the cricket field now, Champ!"
This was the opening salvo of club legend, board member and erstwhile SUCC top-order batsman, Adam Theobald, at the first unofficial club social event of the season - a dinner attended by recently-retired and present players at Braza (Brazilian BBQ), Leichhardt.
Also in attendance was former SUCC wickie, Daniel Ward, after whom the lower grade fielding award is now named.
Hark back a few years to D. Ward's buck's party, where the origin of the now-annual SUCC Brazilian BBQ Meat Off can be identified.
At this event, a number of players witnessed a much-anticipated battle of heavyweights: Theobald v Kierath.
Despite the hype surrounding Kierath, due in large part to his lunching form, this affair wound up resembling the recent fixture between the star-studded NSW Blues and the young CA XI in the first round of the aptly-named, Matador (BBQs) Cup.
Kierath was last seen at Wardy's buck's party lying in the foetal position in the corner of the restaurant while Theobald ordered one last skewer of BBQ beef, a couple of cinnamon pineapples and an espresso martini.
Fast forward to season 2015/16.
With all of the pluck and confidence that comes with a freshly-minted NSW Blues contract and the first-grade captaincy, Nick Larkin threw down the gauntlet to Adam "the Ship" Theobald in the annual SUCC Meat Off.
A solid pace was set early, with Theobald and Larkin both looking strong and both talking big games.
Ash Cowan and Timmy Ley also kept pace with quiet confidence.
For the lesser-likes in the eating department, entertainment was found in the banter with the Brazilian wait staff.
Theo sailed through the evening's fare, but Larkin did not do so well. After a solid stint at the crease, Nicko was forced to "put out his red light" (see Figure 4 below) and spit out the dry lump of masticated meat in his mouth wasn't quite salivated enough to go down.
Cowan and Ley, however, chewed their way on to the podium, but Ash Cowan, who was happy to settle for the bronze medal, eased off shortly after Larkin had fallen.
At this point, the competitiveness of Theobald and Ley truly kicked in. With victory in sight, they went chew for chew into the late hours. Eventually, after the very last piece of roadkill from Norton Street had been barbecued and eaten, a draw was declared. This was Test Match eating.
There was some discussion about attempting to resolve the deadlock over an after-dinner kebab but sense prevailed.
Both men, did, however, claim to enjoy a big breakfast the next day, which others found hard to believe as they said their prayers and ordered double ristrettos seeking to shift the meat.