This coming weekend promises to be one of the greatest in SUCC history both on and off-field, with a plethora of events guaranteed* to keep the keen player occupied from the early hours of Saturday until the early hours of Monday…

Firstly, on Saturday it is Day Two of our clash with the Mosman CC Whales and some intriguing contests are set up, with a massive chase, restarting of the juggernaut, maximum points and a reversi all on offer.  Good luck to all players go well regards thx

Subsequent to the day’s play everyone is encouraged to retire to Uni No 1 for Team Tubs and Live Entertainment (not necessarily mutually exclusive, depending on your proclivities).  This evening is one of the highlights of the social calendar and really a night not to be missed.  The Social Club (with the help of cases owed from team members) has guaranteed* to ensure that there are sufficient beverages and food for the night and Tommy ‘2 plates’ Kierath’s award winning mount gay punch will be in attendance**.  The playlist looks superb and my man on the ground informs me that both Josh ‘Milkers’ Toyer and Max ‘Pope’ Hope will be willing to play any and all of your requests, they are very partial to accepting tips. For Pope, these are best given in food and/or cuddles, Toyer prefers to receive tips on bowling fast outswing, chat and most importantly – Kit…

Following this excellent evening, Sunday morning will see the revival of a contest for one of the most coveted awards that the club can offer.  Forget 1st Grade MVP, Clubman of the Year or Best and Fairest, the accolade that is the pinnacle in any SUCC cricketers CV is to be Nashball Campion***.  Due to the 1st Grade T20 Final (more on that later) this competition is really missing some of the cream of the SUCC Nash crop (Ley, Larkin {J not N or B}, Pattison, Joy et al), however there is no doubt that it will be hotly contested.  Bragging rights are bragging rights, something that I’m well placed to comment on as I sit atop a pile of discarded 3rd grade youths who are yet to get on the board in Nash this season (in terms of wins and often, points).

The teams have been decided, however something very much in keeping with SUCC selections, they are:

·         Known only by a few

·         Subject to last minute decisions on availabilities

·         Cloaked in secrecy

·         To be revealed to the playing group at the last minute

Details for the day are up on the SUCC Uni Army Facebook page and the Nash comp commences at 10:30am at Uni No 1.  A light rain is forecast for Sunday morning, which will make conditions perfect, and I expect some high quality Nash.  The winners will be showered with praise; the losers will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore (unless it is me, in which case the conditions and everyone else are definitely to blame). 

The next event on this packed weekend will involve supporters, specifically experienced and up and coming members of the greatest cricket club supporters group in Sydney Grade Cricket (and therefore the world), the Uni Army.  Speculation is rife as to when the Uni Army first began. Some believe that it was eons ago in the depths of time.  Others believe it was started by Ben Joy at Manly Oval during the 1st Grade One Day Final at 11.15am on 27th February 2011.  Regardless of which it is****, the recent history of the army has been well catalogued; refer to my aforementioned learned colleague’s recent work on the Army on this page.

This year thus far the Uni Army has not lived up to its past glories, and this must be changed this Sunday.  The scene is set, a full day of activities beckon and the Army should be on top form for the main event, the piece de resistance, the 1st Grade t20 Grand Final at Coogee vs Randwick Petersham.  This will be a cracker, with quality on both sides and it really is likely that the match will be decided solely on the strength of support from the sidelines*****.  Club Claptain Henry Clark has taken care of the logistics, the rumour has it that fully laden eskies, body paint, a blow up pool and SUCC dancers may be in attendance.  Plus, in a special SUCC social club offer exclusive to Uni Army Members, the first ten people who come through the gates wearing blue and glod (sic) body paint will receive a cheque for $40!!******.

So there you have it, an exceptional weekend of events hopefully culminating in another piece of silverware to add to the bulging SUCC trophy cabinet and an oversized novelty cheque made out to Cold Hard Cash.  The Coogee Bay representative that we spoke to guaranteed* that oversized novelty cheques can be accepted over the bar, so if the boys win I expect that the post-match festivities are going to be exceptional.

Yours in Cricket, Nash, Uni Army and Refreshments.


* not a guarantee

** as will he, presumably

*** not really true or actually advisable to put on Cricket CV

**** the second one

***** not at all likely

****** cheques will not be honoured