Grade: 2nd

Round: 13

Dates(s): 17/2/2014

Toss: Sutherland

Result: In play

Game scores: Sydney University 4/169

Notables: Hay 85* Visser 35*

REPORT details: 2's rocked up to no.1 as the rain trickled down onto the covers, with the team choosing to congregate outside the change room door. Not a clear enough message for some of the opposition to try the other end of the grandstand. Ben Joy was the only one to fall victim to a case, despite the dubious conditions he experienced at customs, after a 24 hour flight.

While rain delayed the start of nash, all sorts of newspapers and iPhone varieties were exhibited. Despite all the important news around, it was the love lives of certain celebrities that got the boys talking. Eleven envious men all crowded around like school girls as they counted down the top ten girlfriends of Dereck Jeter, a New York Yankees great. With Jesscia Alba sitting at no.5 each click of the button would create huge suspense, culminating to the unveiling of no.1. None other than Victoria's Secret Angel Adriana Lima popped up on the screen, stunning some players into silence and disbelief. Based on the combined interests of the team, a Women's Weekly and Cosmo magazine will replace the Telegraph on the sidelines for the remainder of the season.

Aside from all the gossip and commotion, the rain had cleared and a time was set for the start of play. Nash would be keenly contested in slippery conditions, surely giving the young team an upper hand. But the fragile hamstrings of the old men were 'doing enough.' A scoreline of 3-1 is flattering for the young, who were on the back foot defending all match. Special mention must go to Jack Hill who was best on park in a losing team. If it wasn't for Tom's one sided whistle, Jack may have lead the young's to a draw. Ben Joy's cleverly finessed late goal secured victory for the old.

SUCC were sent into bat, reuniting the odd couple of Will Hay and Alex Logan. The top order grinded out until lunch time, only giving Sutherland 2 wickets on a pitch with plenty in it for bowlers. Will 'battered and bruised' Hay fought through several blows he suffered at training to be not out at the break. However, he delayed play for seven minutes whilst he undressed on the field and replaced his jock strap. The 'powerful' behind of William was exposed, only covered by a pair of skins several sizes too small. It became clear that Will had been reluctant to accept the deterioration of his jock strap, and the size of his waist.

As the tea time approached, Will reached his half century. 4's and 6's made sure he received a well deserved applause, distracting him from the cats on the hill. Two wickets fell quickly, bringing Darius to the crease. As always Darius struck the ball cleanly with strong use of his wrists. At times frustrating the opposition, he managed to always have an answer to their tactics, and words. Young Visser also created arguably the highlight of the day. After gliding a bouncer to vacant third man, Darius pushed for a third as Will 'Billy' Hay was yet to complete half of the second. In a last ditch effort to make the third run Will dived valiantly towards the crease. The subsequent fall lacked grace, and Hayza was somehow left with dirt stains on his front and back. Most importantly he was not out, and thats the way it was for the rest of the day. Will and Darius survived until poor light ended play. Along with theatrical value, Will held the team together with a Ben Larkin like vigil innings. With 120 overs of play next weekend the job is far from done at Uni no.1.