SUCC 1st - 5th Grade v Wests.
SUCC Metro v Bankstown.
SUCC Sunday League v Mus.
The "Max Bonnell Golden Pen Award" points tally
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An appreciably older University side ventured out to Prattern park for the clash with West’s, with the average age ballooning out to 24, up from near record lows of 22.5 a week earlier. Unfortunately team strong man, or so we thought, Moran Atias, was absent from the playing 11. Whilst participating in some mediocre housework, Atias broke down whilst lifting a paint brush. This can only indicate that his strength is appreciably lower than he claims, and will see him slide into last place for strength in the team. Word has it even Stu Griffin can dead lift more than 250g. Defeat on the sand hills to the leopard was a precursor to this fragility and this will no doubt be a double blow to “Jon’s” hard man image early in the season.
After heavy rain the night before, a few of the boys had elected to dabble in the high risk game known affectionately as the Pepsi challenge. Foolishly they had neglected to check the bureau before initiating the challenge, with the radar consistently showing little rain over Ashfield, and hence were surprised to see Prattern was dry and the deck was fairly flat. Gerg was quick to spell any respite for those still rubbing heads after their loss with the challenge, and again lost the toss with West’s electing to bat.
Hector the “thirector” Paskal got off to a flying start with a wicket off the first ball of the match, with the batsmen spooning one to mid on, much to the surprise of a lurking Chris Griffin. All the bowlers followed the O’Reilly frontrunners lead, bowling well to restrict Wests to a modest 198. Mention must go to Gerg who picked up three, and Timmy who bowled well for 2. The Spinners bowled tight lines, with both Tom ‘Adro’ Keirath, and Mitch ‘mobility of the real adro before biggest loser’ Cook bowling well for both under 4 an over. Unfortunately it was not too easy for Rig this week.
After a solid start with the bat from both Maily and Hazer, the units were in a strong position with the bat. With ten over’s to go we were in the box seat needing just over 50 to win. Some tight bowling and some not great batting meant that off the last ball we needed 6 to tie. With heads dropping on the sideline, Tim Ley Parry Umped the last ball to exploit the short boundary, ending the match in a tie. All though there was relief that we got away with the tie, this was certainly the case of the one that got away, and we should have walked away with the win fairly comfortably.
SG
Sydney Uni v Western Suburbs on 10.10.2009 at Uni No. 2 Oval
With all of the best intentions, your scribe arranged a Friday night net with Messrs Kierath, Cowan and Ryan, despite the inclement weather. At 7:30 p.m. your writer left his said team mates at the Beuna Vista Hotel, Mosman in front of the TAB, having just turned down the Pepsi being offered by Rig. It has been said by Ash “the Scientician” Cowan that the decision to take the Pepsi Challenge wasn’t a choice devoid of scientific reasoning. Ash had, of course, noted that it had been sheeting down at the Harold Park Trots all night and on that basis, it was a certain bet that it would be very, very wet at the neighboring Uni No. 2. Oval on Saturday morning. It is a point of bemusement for the writer that Ashley’s poor gambling form with respect to the races being held at Harold Park didn’t serve as a warning sign in relation to the gamble he and his cohorts were to take on the weather.
So, unsurprisingly the Uni boys were greeted with a bone dry pitch on Saturday morning, notwithstanding that there was a bit of surface water lying on the outfield. The two Novocastrians in the team promptly sorted that out with two buckets and a bit of bare-footed hard yakka. Thanks must also go to Lumpy and his charges for their efforts to get us on.
It was therefore without too much ado that a game of nashball was arranged. In what could only be described as a fait-accompli, the Methuselahs picked apart the unsophisticated game plan of the Pups to take the win and the trappings of that success. It was at this point that Creepy Crowley inexplicably morphed from hard-working Novocastrian to cry baby. In a show of utter petulance and immaturity, the captain of the Pups complained incessantly about rough play by the old boys and poor refereeing (also by the old boys). The victory beers were still sweet for the elder statesmen.
Having, steered the Methuselahs to a nashball victory, Captain Theo (bald), tossed the coin with his opposing skipper and the Uni boys were sent into the field first. The lost toss did not falter the Uni team. Josh “you motor-boating son of a bitch, you old sailor you” Toyer and Nigel “cough, cough” Cowell created immediate pressure on the batsmen which bore fruit in the form of a couple of wickets for each of them. Speaking of fruit, Captain Theo (bald) subsequently introduced your scribe and Ash “I look like Nigel Cowell but I don’t bowl like him” Cowan into the attack for a few cheeky overs. It was at this point that the fielders realised it was time for them to do any further wicket-taking and four or five run-outs ensued. Mention must also go to Chris “f*ck, sh*t” Withers and Shashi “No. 1 groundsman and Gator pilot” Keshar who bowled very tidily. Wests were eventually restricted to 208.
No better basis for an argument for order reversal could be found than the Uni run chase. The top order batsmen were generally poor and it wasn’t until Josh “I love bouncers” Toyer and Nigel “I can actually bat” Cowell paired up for the eight wicket stand that the innings gained any impetus. But impetus it gained. With able support from Nige, Sashi and Chris “winning runs are the easiest to runs you will ever score” Withers, Milkers Toyer guided the Uni boys home with a match-winning and unbeaten 55. At no stage was he daunted by a burgeoning required run rate or a lack of batsmen to come and he systematically knocked singles around until there were 12 runs required from the last over. Showing a real sense of theatre, the Big Fella took a couple of twos, pumped a huge horn down the ground and pinched a single to leave Chris “my red helmet is a false economy” Withers to bus drive the penultimate ball for two runs and the win.
Mark Faraday
Introduction
There is only one sport with the ability to ruin an enjoyable Friday night drinking session, or the ability to make one suffer for 6 hours on a Saturday if they have enjoyed the Friday night drinking session. The sport is cricket, and this report details the results obtained from a singular cricket game held on Saturday 10/10/2009 between 11 Sydney University Cricketers ( one allegedly in arctic snow leopard attire) and 11 cricketers from out west.
Instruments and Methods
- 11 Sydney University Cricketers are required to arrive at the venue at 9AM (1 hour before the start of play)
- The 11 players divide into two team based on age (one “old team” and one “young” team).
A game of Nash ball commences and will be played until the “old” team has scored more points that the “young” team-at which point the game is ended (fortunately the “young” team is rubbish and have not actually been in the lead for any stage recently).
- Following Nash, the captain Danny (I can’t think of a funny nick name) Ward will toss the coin with the opposition captain, and come back and tell us (lie) that he has won the toss and that we are bowling.
- The Sydney University Cricketers will bowl 50 overs at the opposition team (less if they take 10 wickets first). During that time every effort will be made to minimise the score of the opposition.
- Following the completion of the innings, a short lunch break will be held at the ground or at a” nearby” venue in the instance that there is no food at the ground.
- The Sydney University cricketers will then have 50 overs to bat and score a larger score than the opposition (as well as to provide social commentary and invent new nicknames).
- The Sydney University cricketers will then sit around, share a beer or soft drink and generally relive the humour of the day.
Results and Discussion
The above experiment was carried out to the best of the experimenters ability on Saturday against the boys from out West. Unfortunately one of the Uni Cricketers failed to read step one of the experimental section, as well as failing to read the text msg sent by Danny “now don’t lie to me” Ward. The net result was thAJ “Usain Bolt” Grant arriving on time at the 5th grade ground.
This event led to a minor modification of step 2 in the experimental section, as the game of Nash was conducted with only 10 players. Having to play without an extra man and without the supreme skills of Mr (N)ash Cowan, a victory to the “old” team was looking unlikely. However, as previously mentioned, the young team are rubbish and continue to disappoint, again outscored by the “old ones”. [Perhaps in future match reports we can save time by assuming the oldies have thrashed the younglins at Nash, unless otherwise stated].
Once the real game (cricket) was underway, the Uni boys were off to a great start with Luke “thanks dad for buying a case” Truashiem nicking off the opener for 0. However, the next hour proved tough going as a result of some aggressive batting by the opposition and some bad luck with catches not quite going to hand. For a while it even appeared that the Uni boys had only 10 players on the field (our own arctic snow leopard was on the prowl and practicing the ancient art of camouflage), fortunately, the umpire allowed a substitute hologram to take the field. The hologram was indeed special, with the ability to take the form of several members of the team. As predicted by Danny “the insightful” Ward, one wicket brought two wickets and the game turned back in our favour. Tight bowling by all bowlers was well supported in the field (in particular by Danny “these gloves don’t have excess webbing” Ward” – 5 dismissals), and the Uni boys dismissed Wests for 213- a solid effort. [Mclean 3wkts, Hackett 3wkts, Balasurija 2wkts & a run out, Truashiem 1 wkt].
The next task at hand was to find some food for lunch, a hot tip from an anonymous sauce saw a number of the boys head back east in search of subway which was rumoured to be close by. We are not quite sure what happened on the trip, however there was a significant amount of confusion on their faces when they returned half an hour later with something “pizza flavoured”, that was evidently not purchased anywhere close by. While half the team was away on this adventure, Captain Ward got to know the newest member of 3’s- Justin “family tree” Younes a little better (only D. Ward can give an accurate description that will do the conversation justice).
Soon enough it was time to bat again. After the loss of both openers, the Uni boys put on a clinical display, easily securing the runs through some solid batting from Chris “text book” Jones (71 not out) and Ken “I now have a million nick names, two of which are Pork Sword and Pork Sauce” Huckle (68). It was a very convincing win to uni and hopefully we can build on the form in coming weeks.
The final source of entertainment for the day initiated during the fines session. It was soon decided that a sprint off would be necessary between Mark “there is no way thAJ is quicker than me” Hackett and thAJ “I am overly confident about winning this race” Grant. As it turned out there was a reason for thAJ’s confidence, narrowly beating Hacket by 25m over the 40m race. Brendan “I don’t gamble” Smith would have easily doubled his money, if only someone was willing to bet against thAJ.
Conclusions and Future Work
- Always read D Wards text message the night before the game (and if you don’t read it don’t lie and pretend you did)
- The oldies are way better at Nash than the young ones (this was already known)
- Holograms may look real in the field, however, they do struggle to stop the ball
- Just because someone says subway is close by, doesn’t mean it is.
- AJ is quite quick over 40m.
Mark Hackett
Sydney Uni 6-182 (D.Crawford 64*, M.Culkoff 36, J.Hammond 35, D.Bragg 24*) defeated West’s 6-181 (Kazaglis 2-28, Crawford 2-24)
4’s arrived on a damp Saturday morning, confident of continuing there undefeated run at the St Pauls’ cauldron after a few wins and a draw for the season thus far. Early signs in the Nash warm-up were good with the old bucks taking the points and after skipper Danny ‘packed lunch’ Bragg won the toss the students were keen to get stuck into the Squinters top order.
Jimmy ‘cab to the riff’ Kazaglis was rewarded with an early one and was ably supported from the other end by Charles ‘raging bull’ Cull. The Wests innings were held down by some good sets in the middle period from Braggy, the Sandman and Dave ‘wireless’ Crawford. Special mention also must go to Ben ‘Joy’ Gay whose spell was mediocre however was really raising the bar with his fitted-stovepipe cricket pants.
The Uni chase didn’t get off to a great start with the Nerdler being removed first ball of the innings, trapped in front. Bambi Freeman copped an equally unimpressive call and was fired in similar circumstances – the ump under the lid obviously had a big night lined up and was keen to hit the frog and toad. The students found themselves at 3-10 after Nick ‘abs that could grate cheese’ Burke was cleaned up from a rock that did everything. Some decent partnerhips from Culks and Jack ‘paper bag’ Hammond took the score to 70-odd, yet regular dismissals saw us struggling at 6-100. Enter Dan ‘dates a model, definitely not a big deal’ Bragg and DC. Some powerful hitting from Crawf and responsible nerdling from the skipper steadied the ship and put the students in with a shot in what was looking to be a tight finish.
These two ended up passing the Westies score comfortably, with 3 overs to spare. It was a top innings form both blokes putting on 80 almost effortlessly, and Crawf (dare i say it) was a well-deserved winner of the 3-points for the day’s play. Another win for the good guys -who remain undefeated for the season. Roll on Manly.
Nick Burke
Western Suburbs 7 for 182 (A Greene 2 for 41) defeated by SUCC 8 for 184 (McPerson 39*, M. Barwick 34)
"Chalk one up for the good guys!” says Jes, as nash is interrupted by rain with the, shall we say, more experienced members of the fifth grade side prevailing. Experience was to prove pivotal during the day’s play. More to follow…
James Rodgers, fresh from influencing the umpires and opposition captain, “Banger” (?) into anything he wanted with respect to the covers, state of play and how many overs were to be bowled by each team in the time remaining, won the toss, thought briefly, and then elected to bowl. Good start!
University began well. A wicket to Andy Greene off only the second ball of the innings and things came alive. The wicket and bowling looked unplayable. Twenty overs on, and all there was to show after the initial breakthrough was a moderate run rate, some good pressure from University and the nagging inability of the Western Suburbs’ batsmen to hit the ball through the off side. A breakthrough finally came and with it further pressure and wickets from “The Director” (aka Dave Jessop), James Rodgers and Paul O’Halloran. The youngsters from Western Suburbs (everyone seems young nowadays… when did that happen?) couldn’t handle the pressure, resorted to backyard tip and run and managed a modest 182. Andy Greene was the pick of the bowlers.
A brief lunch break and we would be back into it. The target would test us more than we would have hoped.
A watchful start by Nick Fitzgerald and Michael Barwick and the first 50 runs of the chase were behind us. With Nick out soon after edging down the legside, the University innings paused, spluttered, temporarily found legs. It then promptly went limp. At 8 for 134, still needing close to 50 runs to win, there was an uneasy feeling, especially with our captain as the next and last man in nervously pacing the sheds. Needless it was to be, for the turning point had arrived. In only his second game of grade cricket Kerrod McPherson walked calmly to the crease. With great skill, studious concentration and some happy abandon he survived all that Western Suburbs had to offer and then dutifully slapped them to all parts of the oval. He dominated with a score of 39 not out in an unbroken partnership of 50 with Ben Peacock. The University chase came to a satisfying conclusion in passing the Western Suburbs total as Kerrod sweetly timed the second 6 of his innings into the trees just behind square leg.
In summary, a good start, an ordinary middle and an ending of note. Keep winning the close ones!
SUCC –238 (J. Lawson 53, D Gatt 49, Brooker 32) def. Bankstown 236 (G Metcalfe 4/42, P Bertelle 3/37, G Glynne 2/44)
I turned up to the ground unusually early to find a ground fit for a 3rd grade game despite the mud pit claiming several victims in our warm up game of touch (myself and Dave Gatt included). Cowell won the toss and chose to bat, which pleased Bertelle to no end who proceeded to get ready until he realised he forgot 2 crucial things, 1- a box and 2- pants (lucky I had a spare pair). Vasista and Sriram (I want to wear my thigh pad on the outside) opened up with a solid platform seeing out the new ball until Vasista fell to an LBW, Bertelle came and went without troubling the scorers (didn’t need that box after all!) and Sriram (‘I hit it into the ground’) was caught. Lawson by this stage was off and flying to be joined by Brooker as a partnership of 56 was created, Lawson proceeding to dispatch the bowlers at will (some very nice horns there) with a lot of help from the opposition who gave a total of 32 extras including 21 wides. Both however fell to the half spinner, half inswinger/outswinger, half pies bowler whose bowling was just too irresistible to ended up with flattering figures of 3/70. Cowell smashed a quick fire 23 only to be run out, which brought Dave Gatt (49) and Sammy (16 n.o) to finish the innings in style. Gatt playing some really really nice shots only to fall one short of a well deserved half century triggering some minor brain explosions in the last 2 balls with Gus stumped first ball, and Metro hitting a sweetly timed straight drive to the man on the boundary giving the opposition bowler a hat trick. However 238 was a solid score and definitely defendable with our high quality bowling attack.
Gus and Sammy opened the bowling with Gus getting an early wicket in, the trend continued with steady wickets shared between Metro, Bertelle and Glynne. This was until we switched off in the middle letting Bankstown back into the game, matching them with 32 extras (not good enough boys!) and this wasn’t helped with the opposition batsman chancing his arm a lot with some clean straight hitting. With Sammy hurting his shoulder and Cowell forgetting he had another over left (nice one mate!) Lawson bowled a handy few overs of leg spin, Gatt worked hard and put in a good effort for the team until it came down to the last over of the match bowled by Paul Bertelle. Bankstown had smashed their way on top with 2 wickets left only needing 5 from the last over, they ran a single to give their main man the strike, in true 6th grade style their man of the match went for the hero shot only to sky one which fell into the safe gloves of Sriram. This revived some more hope in the boys who smelt blood, the batsman crossed giving the opposition batsman a chance to be the hero, only needing 4 from 4 balls, it seems no lessons were learnt by the previous delivery as he proceeded to try exactly the same thing only to be caught at cover to a flukey catch by Brooker. Credit to Bertelle for keeping a cool head after earlier being tonked by what appeared to be a 12 year old. So we remain undefeated but only just, we made it very hard for ourselves as we should have put the game to bed looking for a bonus point but with too many extras, dropped catches and an overall lack of intensity in the field we almost let the game slip. An exciting finish to a good days cricket ending with a well deserved rendition of the team song!
Dave Brooker
Sydney University 140ish lost to Muslim CC 170 odd.
Having not had the chance to put on the whites after two rounds of cricket, most of us were looking forward to SUCC's debut in the Canterbury-Wests Association Sunday League competition - the brainchild of SUCC Director of Cricket Dave Jessep.
Jess wanted a side made up mainly of the up and coming young cricketers (15s to 18s) in the club, backed by a few older heads, to help with the development of these players. Games are 40 overs each, played on turf and are against senior sides which boast many ex-grade players and a lot of seasoned opposition. Thankfully, at least one official umpire is provided.
We turned up at Uni no. 2 on Sunday to be greeted by a very wet outfield and news that the game had been transferred to the astro turf at Gough Whitlam Park in Tempe .
While Jess organised for the players to help get the covers off the field so they could dry, he managed to con one of the parents to look after young son, Ben, who delighted in showing he could handle all types of balls - soccer, rugby and cricket - much better than his old man.
Eventually, we all left in a car convoy to Tempe but not before Alex "Sticks" Logan gave a very unimpressive lesson in how not to drive as the learner-driver attempted to reverse out of Uni No 2. Watching from a very safe distance we also noted the quick shift from the right lane to the middle lane at one stage where he nearly wiped out the whole team as he followed Julie Momsen down the Princess Highway . “Sticks; the thingy at the side of the steering wheel is called an indicator. Might be handy to use it every now and then.”
Arriving at Gough Whitlam under dark, threatening skies we were greeted by a nice looking ground which was largely unaffected by the large amount of rain. The wicket was very green and hard and promised a lot of bounce! Now was not the time to volunteer to open the batting.
Because of the late start there was no time for Nash Ball, even though we had three rugby balls on hand. The formalities out of the way, we bowled first and now, unfortunately, things get a little sketchy. Having been told by Jess to do a write up on the agme and not to forget to take the scorebook, I promptly forgot to take the scorebook!
But, as my dad often tells me, never let the facts spoil a good story.
What I can tell you is (with a little help from Jess) is that Alex Logan was caught off his helmet for 10ish and got a wicket or two. Ashley Crato looked good in compiling 20-25. Jono "Bluey" Momsen I think got around 25, Steve Green took a couple of wickets, Aaron Khongwar got around 30, and Jack Boehm and Sanjdeev Singh bowled well while yours truly managed 18.
Apologies for any inaccuracies or if I have omitted any herculean individual performances.
Dave Gatt