2nd grade v Bankstown
5th Grade v Campbelltown.
SUCC Metro v Blacktown.
The "Max Bonnell Golden Pen Award" points tally
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2nd grade Final vs Bankstown
Sydney Uni 197 of 83 overs. Dave Miller 67, Tim Ley 40,Paul O’Halloran 38, Jim Kazaglis 28.
Bankstown 102. Tim Ley 5/29, Michael Culkoff 4/37, Jim Kazaglis 1/9
Day 1
Nash
In the pre-game game they play in heaven it was a win for the brash young pups over the more graceful and elegant play of the more mature 2nd graders. Starring were the gatekeepers Nick “the dying fish” Larkin and Shashi “we spend more effort marlining each other than playing cricket!” Keshar.
The Game
Captain Theo won the toss on a greenish Uni No. 1 ground and took the positive step and elected to bat. It was always going to be a tough first hour with plenty of pace and seam for the Bankstown bowlers. The fourth ranked Bankstown side made the most of the conditions and took three early wickets. With Rig, Theo and Nick Larkin nicking off, leaving the third ranked Students in a precarious position at 3 for 9. After a skipped heart beat or two as Pegs was caught and bowled off a no-ball, it was left to Dave “Barely Legal” Miller and Pegs to get the Units back on track. They were focused and played patiently as they saw off the new pill. At 3/71 it was a “wait, yes, no… sorry” from MILF as Paul “retro kit” O’H was run out with a direct hit from the cover fieldsman. Unfortunately one wicket brought three as Morgs/Furby and Michael “Pain Away” Culkoff fell shortly after.
In true fighting Uni fashion Dave Miller and Tim Ley got the units back into the game. Their valuable partnership of 67 came about initially through patient batting, followed by clean hitting as the pair took apart the Bankstown attack.
Watched and supported by all except Nick Lurkin who was busy reading his novel in more positions than Ron Jeremy the pair wrestled the initiative from BDCC. With MILF becoming a little bored scoring runs he unselfishly decided to give the tail a go and was out hit wicket on 67 with the team sitting on 7 for 154.The Units continued to fight as Leysey was dismissed for a valuable 40 but were eventually bowled out for a stoic 197.
With ten overs remaining in the days play it was left to Tim and Culks to do some damage to Bankstown top order. Both Leysey and The Outswinger delivered, with Tim “The Greengrocer” Ley taking the first of scalp. Backed up by Michael “Useful!” Culkoff who picked up three quick wickets to allow a sizeable Bankstown contingent to enjoy their Saturday night at the poker machine heaven that is Canterbury Leagues. After ten quality overs from the Students, Bankstown were 4 for 11, leaving the defending premiers in a strong but by no means safe position.
Day 2
NASH
Day two started much the same as day one with the youngsters scraping a close victory over the classier play of the older fellas.
The Game
The job was simple for the Students, win the first session and therefore win the game. But the Bulldogs were not going to hand us the semi final spot easily and started well. They first survived then attempted to build the Bankstown score but at 35 there partnership was broken. This left the Bankstown captain to attempt to slash and smash them to victory. But again their plans were thwarted by the bowling of The Outswinger and from then on it was only a matter of time before they were bungled out just after lunch for 102. With “suck my” picking up four wickets and Ten pin Tim winning the Michelle-off and taking 5/29. Stumps were drawn enabling an early finish to the days play with the Students enjoying a few “premium” unexpired beer and a chance to watch six grade win a thriller, which was the “icing on the cherry” for a successful day for the 2’s.
JK
Your scribe earning some rest before needed at the crease...... it wasn’t a deep sleep though, as whenever there was an appeal, he woke up ready for duty!
6th grade finals vs Blacktown)
Day 1 – Pre game
Saturday dawned bright, sunny and at the end of the week, as per the forecast. It was a morning of firsts, my first final… ok just a morning of first then I guess.
I had not heard from any of Messrs Faraday, Rig, TK or the usual collection of drunken hobo’s who frequent my house on a Friday evening since Respectable O’clock the day before. Unquestionably everyone was ready – by which I mean I was ready, who gives a toss about anyone else? Since this is my match report no-one, that’s who.
Nash commenced. What followed was an embarrassing display of shit rigs and shitter nash from the younger team members. I don’t remember the exact score, 30 nil or some absurd number. Even with the consolation of Rowdy joining the now farcically named “younger” team wasn’t enough and the experienced team won in a walk over.
Gentlemen, lads and Paul Bertellie dressed for a game of cricket that may have ended our season (spoiler alert – it didn’t!). Our fearless, non-bowling, lower order batsman / skipper did the right thing and lost the toss. Despite the relocation of a section of Parramatta Road to the centre of Uni No.2, the University team (no doubt fired up by our Skipper’s prophetic words – “if you lose, none of you are playing next week!”) easily ran through the Blacktown “top” order.
Wickets to Sammy Ma-ha-baby-daddy, Greeney (one of which appeared to defy the laws of physics by seeming backwards in time) and Man-of-Saturday –but-not-Sunday Gatt saw Blacktown precariously perched at 5-40 with it all to do.
Unfortunately, or fortunately if you are a fan of Blacktown – in which case get the f**## out of our match report, there was something of a revival. When the dust settled, and the ringing echo of obscenities had faded from the ground, Blacktown found themselves at 8 for 200. Another revival and the Blackstown team were all out for 286 (Gatt with a well deserved 5 for and Waterlow with a completely undeserved 2 for – displaying better figures than the Green man, although from 23 less overs). Dropped catches and a lessening of enthusiasm cost the Students (and I use that term loosely) badly.
Strong positive batting by one of the Barwick twins and the Ash Castro saw Uni in the driver’s seat at the end of the day (ironic given the number of people in the team not allowed by law in the driver’s seat of an automobile).
Day 1 – Post game
Refusing the usual entertainments of beer and low grade chopping, your scribe slept the sleep of the virtuous. Nothing to see here.
Day 2
Nash commenced and, clearly realising that they were outmatched, outclassed and generally embarrassed by their Nash skills, the younger team were clearly instructed to play dirty Nash. Waterlow in particular displayed a flagrant disregard for both the niceties of Nash and the rules of etiquette that have evolved around the game. A bit of hip and shoulder from the larger and older team members is just part of the game but grabbing and holding is only legitimate in soccer and at the Sheaf in double bay.
This poor form led to a surprise victory by the younger team, with Barwick the Younger owing the team a case for missing most of it (despite his accommodation being mere minutes from the ground). As an aside, the team expects better of you than the cat piss that a certain 4th grade skipper provided at Parramatta – if its not premium or better its not a case.
With Cricket commencing things progressed nicely for the Students. Ash and Barwick were dismissed for a combined total of 100 (Barwick most unluckily dismissed “stumped”).
Your scribe played all around a straight one for 30 odd and things became more precarious. Uni were poised at 4-160 needing a mere 120 for a stirring victory.
Uni proceeded to make a very ordinary spinner look dangerous. Bertellie and Simon Cowell both threw their wickets to him as encouragement, and the other member of our American Idol duo (Cam “Ryan Seacrest” Hawkins) defended him watchfully.
A brief interlude of verbal violence later and Jared Waterlow entered proceedings and put the game beyond all doubt. One could compare his bowling to a flamingo ducking for fish in a pond and his Nash is like the enthusiastic (but unsatisfying) fumblings of a teenaged boy, but his flaying of the Blacktown attack would have warmed the heart of a great Queensland hero (especially if that hero was Matty Hayden). To put it simply it was the stand out batting performance from our side. If Cam’s 20 odd held our team together (which it did) Waterlow’s 50 blew their team apart (and silenced their spectator contingent thankfully).
Highlights
Gatt’s five wickets the first day (the less said about his 4 ball duck the second day the better)
Patient batting by Ash (40), Barwick (50) and Ryan (30)
Jared’s destruction of Blacktown
The 2nd graders hanging around to watch the game
Lunch and Tea were also of high quality
Lowlights
The number of people in the team who have no idea of the words of the victory song.
Special mentions
The hard work of the ground staff, who not only prepared a belting pitch both days but also turned up early on a Sunday morning to mow the ground for us. Much appreciated lads!
Next up - University’s stirring victory over Wests.